Personality Developmant

Personality Developmant

“You weren’t an accident. You weren’t mass produced. You aren’t assembly line product. You were deliberately planned, specifically gifted, and lovingly positioned on the Earth by the Master Craftsman”. Max Lucado

If you believe in what Max Lucado has said then you do not have any reason to compare yourself with any one in this world. If you compare, you are insulting yourself. Believing in yourself is a choice, it is an attitude you develop over time. Al-though it helps if you have positive and supportive parents, the fact is that most us had run-of –the-mill parents who inadvertently passed on to us the same limiting beliefs and negative conditioning they grew up with. But remember, the past is the past. There is no gain in blaming them for your current level of self-confidence or for that matter your current personality. It is now your responsibility to take charge of your life, your own self-concept, beliefs and develop your own personality to take your life in the direction you want to take it. After my immense experience in Armed Forces I am writing about certain realities of life which will help you in moulding your personality- choice is yours to take it or leave it.

Every successful person has a painful story and every painful story has a successful ending. Accept the pain and get ready for success. People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. Remember nothing comes easy in life but like seasons difficult times are not permanent. Life laughs at you when you are unhappy, life smiles at you when you are happy and life salutes you when you make others happy. Take every pain as a learning lamp post in the journey of happiness.

Easy is to judge the mistakes of others, but difficult is to recognize our own mistakes. It is easier to protect your feet with slippers than to cover the earth with carpet.

If a problem can be solved, no need to worry about it. If a problem cannot be solved what is the use of worrying? Firstly do not take anything in life as problems rather view it as a puzzle and your complete outlook towards it will change. We tend to find temporary solutions to the problems and invariably tend to blame someone for their occurrence whereas puzzles engage us in a positive manner. As no one will manufacture a lock without a key, similarly God won't give problems without solutions but we have to have the urge to look for solutions.

Life is full of opportunity but we do not train ourselves to look for them in the right place and time. If you miss an opportunity don't fill your eyes with tears, as it will hide another better opportunity in front of you. Have an insatiable appetite to learn and upgrade your knowledge to be able to seize ever emerging opportunities or to create opportunities.

"Changing the Face" can change nothing. But "Facing the Change" can change everything. Don't complain about others; Change yourself if you want peace.
Change is inevitable accept it, its painful in the beginning only. Everyone has the capacity and responsibility to learn and grow from every one of the obstacles, inducements, incitements, provocations and stimuli that life sends us. When you change yourself, you change the world around you. Positive CHANGE is ‘Creating Hope and Awareness to Nourish Growth and Energy’. Everything is difficult before it becomes easy, that is how the life evolves. No one can go back and change a bad beginning; but anyone can start now and create a successful ending.

Mistakes are painful when they happen. But year's later collection of mistakes is called experience, which leads to success. Do not take each mistake as a life and death situation rather celebrate it, because you have learnt something valuable out of it.

Be bold when you loose and be calm when you win. Heated gold becomes ornament, beaten copper becomes wires, depleted stone becomes statue, so the more pain you get in life you become more valuable and You develop a unique personality with its own aura thus making you a humble leader and a loyal follower.

Written By : Col. Vijay Batra

Just Chill................anil

एक कला है तारीफ करना

एक कला है तारीफ करना
anil aggarwal

कहते हैं कि निंदक नियरे राखिए, आंगन कुटी छवाय.. यानी जो आपकी निंदा करता हो, तो उससे बचना नहीं, बल्कि उसे अपने निकट रखना चाहिए। दरअसल, जब कोई आपकी आलोचना करता है, तो इसका मतलब है कि आपके किसी कार्य या आपकी पर्सनैल्टी में कोई न कोई ऐसी कमी है, जिसे ठीक करने की जरूरत है। लेकिन यह भी सच है कि कोई हर वक्त अपनी आलोचना नहीं सुनना चाहता। ऐसी स्थिति में यह जरूरी है कि आप अपनी आदतों में दूसरों के अच्छे ार्यो की तारीफ करना भी शामिल करें। जरूरत तारीफ की दरअसल, तारीफ का मुख्य उद्देश्य होता है किसी के अच्छे कार्य या पर्सनैल्टी के किसी विशेष गुण को सकारात्मक अर्थो में संबंधित व्यक्ति से व्यक्तिगत रूप में या दूसरों के सामने व्यक्त करना। ऐसा करने से दूसरों की नजरों में उस व्यक्ति विशेष के व्यक्तित्व व कार्यो की अहमियत बढ़ जाती है। मिसाल के तौर पर यदि कोई स्टूडेंट पढ़ाई के साथ-साथ रचन यदि किसी के अच्छे कार्यो की तारीफ करना जानते हैं, तो सभी के चहेते बन सकते हैं। तारीफ करने की कला बता रही हैं डीयू के इंद्रप्रस्थ कॉलेज फॉर वुमेन की प्रिंसिपल डॉ. अरुणा सीतेश : नात्मक गतिविधियों में भी अव्वल हो और उसके कार्यो को पॉजिटिव रूप में उसके सामने या फिर जब वह समूह में हो, तो सम्मानजनक शब्दों के साथ उसकी सराहना की जाए, तो निश्चित रूप से ऐसी प्रशंसा ेभविष्य में बेहतर करने के लिए प्रोत्साहित करेगी। निंदा कम, प्रशंसा ज्यादाआम लोगों के साथ-साथ मनोवैज्ञानिक भी यह मानते हैं कि अपनी तारीफ सुनकर ही अधिकांश लोग उत्साहित होते हैं और निंदा से हतोत्साहित। परीक्षा में अच्छा परफॉर्म न करने वाले किसी स्टूडेंट को यदि लगातार उसकी कमियां ही गिनाई जाती रहें, तो ऐसी स्थिति में हो सकता है कि उसका आत्मविश्वास ही डगमगा जाए। वहीं, यदि उसके किसी खास गुण को तलाश कर प्रशंसा की जाए, तो इसमें कोई दो राय नहीं कि अगली बार वह बेहतर कर दिखाए।तारीफ करें, तो दिल से दुनिया में ऐसे लोगों की कोई कमी नहीं है, जो अपना उल्लू सीधा करने के लिए किसी की भी झूठी प्रशंसा करने लगते हैं। ऐसा करके वे कुछ समय के लिए तो अपना काम निकाल सकते हैं, पर जब इस कथित प्रशंसा की पोल खुलती है, तो उन्हें लज्जित भी होना पड़ता है। प्रशंसा करते समय इन महत्वपूर्ण बातों का ध्यान अवश्य रखें : 4तारीफ करते वक्त ऐसा बिल्कुल न लगे कि आप सामने वाले की चापलूसी कर रहे हैं। 4कुछ लोग एक व्यक्ति की प्रशंसा करने के लिए उसके सामने दूसरे व्यक्ति की निंदा करने लग जाते हैं। ऐसा बिल्कुल न करें। यदि किसी ने अच्छा कार्य किया है, तो पॉजिटिव ढंग से उसकी प्रशंसा करने में बिल्कुल कंजूसी न करें। सामने वाले के कार्य से असंतुष्ट होने पर ऐसा कुछ न कहें, जिससे उसके आत्मसम्मान को ठेस पहुंचे। झूठी तारीफ करने से बाज आएं। अपनी स्वार्थ सिद्घि के लिए किसी की प्रशंसा न करें, यानी तारीफ करें, तो दिल से..।

Have a nice day........................

anil aggarwal..................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Making a Resolution and Making it Work

Making a Resolution and Making it Work

agarbandhu

New Year is the time when most of us feel the need to wipe our slates clean and start anew, all fresh and sparkly. We all want to lose weight, quit smoking, exercise more, save more money, patch up relationships gone sour and other things alike, but anyone who has ever made a resolution can tell you that this is easier said than done.
Few of the study suggests that in order to be successful in our resolutions, we must:
· Be committed to making a change
· Have strategies to tackle problem and obstacles that may arise in the course of fulfilling our resolutions
· Monitor our progress in order to do better
The study also points out the formulating resolutions in the following manners will definitely doom the same:
· Making last minute resolutions as a reaction to New Year’s Eve
· Making resolutions based on what is on your mind or bothering you at the time
· Making absolute resolutions by saying, “I will never do XYZ again.”
On average only about 20% of us keep our New Year's resolutions. Here are few pointers that will help you make your New Year resolutions last all year long:
1. Have a positive attitude about your resolutions. Losing weight need not always be a difficult and hard process. Frame your resolutions as “I will” as opposed to “I will not”
2. Make your resolutions your own; never make them because you think it is what some one else wants of you.
3. Make realistic goals that are within your reach keeping in mind your schedule, finances and other personal factors.
4. Don’t make too many resolutions. If you do, you will only spread yourself too thinly resulting in the failure of all of them. Have 2-3 goals and make sure you properly commit yourself to them.
5. Have specific goals like “I will save 25% of my paycheck” instead of, “I will save money” or, “I will exercise three times a week” instead of, “I will exercise more”. People with specific goals are more likely to reach them than people who have made vague, ambiguous promises to themselves.
6. Break your goal down into several mini-goals and create a timeline for achieving each of them. Crossing these mini-goals off of your list after you are done with them will give you a sense of accomplishment and motivate you further.
7. Let your family and friends know of your resolutions so that they can help you when you’re going off track. They can be your support network who will remind and encourage you.
8. Don’t be afraid to seek professional help if your aim is to overcome a dangerous or difficult problem like excessive smoking, drinking, drug abuse, obesity etc. There are several experts with the right knowledge and experience who can give you the proper tools to help you beat your bad habits.
9. Don’t forget to reward yourself. A periodic pat on the back as you accomplish your resolves will keep you motivated. Acknowledge your achievements, even the small ones. Reaching a goal takes hard work and you should be proud of your efforts.
10. Stay positive about your progress. Keep in mind that setbacks can happen. Don't become discouraged and give up. Instead, recommit. Dust yourself off and get going again.
11. And remember to give it time. Most experts agree that it takes about 21 days to create a habit and six months for it to actually become a part of your daily life. Persistence is the key.
As final words of encouragement to resolution makers, Marlatt has these suggestions: "Take credit for success when you achieve a resolution, but it is a mistake to blame yourself if you fail. Instead, look at the barriers that were in your way. See how you can do better the next time and figure out a better plan to succeed. You do get to try again and can make behavior changes throughout the year, not only at New Year's."
That said good luck!

Bojourn.....................agarbandhu!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Baring the body code

Baring the body code

agarbandhu

Pradeep Bose could not figure it out. He possessed the technical expertise for a programming job, but from the last three months he had not got a break. "Three interviewers told me 'I possessed the right qualifications but nobody has confirmed the appointment'," he confided to a friend. The friend, a Communications Manager, did not mince words in telling Pradeep that he was responsible for it. A shocked Pradeep listened to a half-hour lecture on standing erect and looking the interviewer in the eye. "My first instinct was to scoff at it, he says, but I realised I had nothing to lose." Three interviews later, he had a job

The incident highlights the importance of being conscious of the subtleties and nuances of nonverbal or body language. Simple gestures such as the movement of the hand, crossed feet under the table, raised eyebrows send messages can make or mar an impression during an interview. According to experts, 65 to 90 per cent of every conversation is interpreted through body language and people tend to react more to what a person meant than the words actually spoken. Irving Goffman, author of The Presentation of Self in Everyday Lives, argues, in the social arena, people give others the right to perceive what they claim to be, if their roles are legitimised with suitable actions and appearance. Non verbal language plays a critical function in the corporate environment, as people have immediate and direct benefits to reap from assessing people on the basis of impressions gathered from nonverbal cues.

Hence, 'actions and appearance' or verbal and non-verbal language must be in sync with each other. This is, especially, true in an interviewing situation, where a candidate in flat 30 minute or less, must impress the suitability of his candidature on the interviewer. Given the limited time frame, unconsciously or consciously, the interviewer relies heavily on non-verbal gestures to make the final choice. Many times interviewers reject candidate not because the candidate lacks the technical expertise for the job, but due to a certain air or attitude exuded by the candidate. For instance, a candidate who cites his ability to lead a team but to fidgets on being closely questioned by the interviewer is likely to be rejected. Hence, the candidate needs to be conscious of the image he or she is projecting to the interviewer. AssureConsulting.com helps you master the body language game.

HANDSHAKE: Shaking hands is a universal business greeting and it can make or mar the first impression. The handshake should be firm but not bone crushing. Firm handshakes reflect confidence level of the candidate. You should grip the interviewer' hand so that the web of your thumbs meet and apply the same degree of pressure as the interviewer. Most people are comfortable with people who are similar to them, and matching the interviewer's handshake is your first opportunity to create similarities. Prior to meeting the interviewer, shake hands a couple of times with your friends, being sure to perform the motion from the elbow not from the shoulder. Not having sweaty hands is certainly an advantage.

GESTURES: Gestures speak volumes. Some outward expressions of inner feelings are listed below:
I am confident: Common gestures that signal self assurance and poise to the interviewer are:- Flashing a smile at the interviewer,- Brisk walk,- Hands resting lightly to the body and - Erect back.
I am concentrating: In the course of an interview, always let the interviewer complete what he's saying. These gestures indicate you are an interested and attentive listener:- Chin thrust out,- Hands resting on the chin,- Lean forward slightly to catch the interviewer's word.
I am cooperative: If you are applying for a position which require you to function in a team the interviewer will assess you are a team player.- Open hands,- Sitting back,- Eye movements, which encompass everyone in the room when you are answering
I am defensive: Many times the interviewer to test your claims may subject you to intense questioning. Do not adopt a defensive body language by- Crossing arms,- Glancing sideways,- Touching-rubbing nose, and- Rubbing eyes.
I'm nervous: Nervousness can wreck an interview for a candidate. Apart from breathing deeply and taking a few seconds to answer the questions, you can project poise by avoiding the common nervous gestures listed below:- Playing with your hair, clothing or jewelry,- Biting or licking your lips, - Biting your fingernails,- Jiggling money or knees,- Wringing ands,- Chewing on a pen or pencil,- Giggling,- Constantly nodding your head.
I don't want to be here: Sometimes your body language appears to say you'd rather be somewhere else is not going to create a good impression with an interviewer. Try to avoid the following:- Looking at your watch repeatedly,- Looking around the room or past the interviewer's shoulder,- Shifting in your seat,- Tapping your feet,- Drumming your fingers on the desk or on your leg,- Generally staring off into space or failing to make eye contact.

POSTURE: Even if you're motionless, your posture communicates a message. Confident applicants have relaxed, balanced postures. They hold their bodies upright, walk freely with their arms swinging and take determined strides. Less-assured candidates, on the other hand, have rigid or stooped postures, drag or shuffle their feet when walking and take short, choppy strides.

EYES: The eyes communicate more that any other part of the human anatomy. Candidates with eye movements that are relaxed and comfortable yet attentive to the person they are conversing with are seen as more sincere and honest. During the course of the interview maintain eye contact with members of the interview panel. This indicates that a candidate is confident, honest, trustworthy and sincere. Shifty eyes and too much blinking can suggest nervousness and deception.

TONE OF VOICE: The pitch, tone and inflection of voice can reveal more than you intend to the interviewer. Often, the manner in what you say something is more meaningful than what has been said. In an interview, use a natural tone and don't deviate from your normal speaking rate, volume, rhythm, pitch or resonance. Secure applicants have relaxed warm and well-modulated voices that match their feelings, allowing them to appropriately express excitement, enthusiasm and interest during conversations.Conversely, insecure candidates can't control their voice pitch and volume. They have weak, soft, hesitant or tremulous voices, and clear their throats, use "uh" and "um" or other nervous mannerisms excessively. Others mask their insecurity by speaking in complex, involved.

HAND MOVEMENTS: Discrete and moderate hand movements are perfectly acceptable as they can often animate an otherwise dull conversation or be used to emphasise a point. Be wary of using loud and violent hand movements as flailing arms are often seen as a sign of aggression.

SPACE: The relevance of space in interpersonal and social communication has led psychologists conduct formal studies in the area and coining a new term, proxemics. In the social zone, experts advise candidates to maintain a distance between four and 12 feet. Respect the interviewer's personal space by not assuming an overfriendly tone or by backslapping the interviewer even if you've been introduced before. Studies have shown that individuals that do not respect others space are less popular and often rejected.

THE FINAL WORD: In a social situation, like an interview, where the recruiter and the recruited as pitched in the roles of assessor and assessed, Non verbal skills must coordinate with verbal and technical skills. An awareness of body language can help you understand control and even seize the situation to your advantage by conveying an upbeat, enthusiastic image.

Bojourn.......................agarbandhu!!!!!!!!!!!

Success: What is it?

Success: What is it?
agarbandhu

"Any man may commit a mistake, but none but a fool will continue in it."
Success? What is it? What is the way to it? What are the rewards? Do you have a right to succeed? The answers to these questions are in this brief article. It is about success. It is about you and how you can succeed and, in particular, in the profession of exercise physiology.

All too often we hear others saying, "Get in line and wait your turn." This idea is all too common. It isn't the road to success, but rather failure. It turns our hopes into forgotten dreams. So, we must be on the look out for such statements, particularly if they are designed to keep us from realizing success.

Yes, being successful can spoil some people. They begin to think everything revolves around them. They become egotistical and, unfortunately, believe only they have the right answers to every question. The dangers of success have been written about for years, but that is not the purpose of this article.

This article is about "What is success, the way to it, and your right to be successful?" It is about you and how you can become a success. In this article, I am especially concerned with the compelling vision and objectives of the American Society of Exercise Physiologists (ASEP). I take the view that success is just minutes away from fulfillment by joining the Society. I won't pretend that you can't succeed in other organizations -- of course anything is possible. The truth is that I want you to consider membership in the Society of exercise physiologists.

stop and tell your
Through hard work and dedication to ASEP's vision, members of the Society are working hard to achieve the extraordinary. They are working together to design and secure the future for all exercise physiologists. But, before you read any further, stop and tell yourself:
It is O.K. to want your own organization.
It is O.K. to think as an exercise physiologist.
It is O.K. to look out for yourself.
It is O.K. to believe that sports medicine is not exercise physiology.
It is O.K. to recognize the need to professionalize.
It is O.K. to want to succeed as an exercise physiologist. It is O.K. to be an exercise physiologist! You don't have to apologize to anyone. You don't have to feel guilty about what is logical. You have the right to your feelings even though others may tell you that success can't be realized outside of sports medicine.

Success begins, therefore, first with your instincts to follow logical thinking. Then, the best way to succeed is to begin with a reasonable plan for realizing your hopes and expectations. The process is a journey if not an adventure with surprises on every front. It begins with the first step, however small even if your goals should change along the way. At least, take the step and become part of history.

I do not personally think it is necessary to be mean or unethical to be successful. Certainly, many successful people are mean, closed-minded, and unethical. When their views are too one-sided, they set the stage for infighting along the way. The result is unfortunately a lost opportunity to build into existing organizations new ideas and possibilities. For the members who are determined to succeed, the lack of understanding from top down serves to bring them together with greater motivation and desire.

To be successful, to do something that will help others, and to keep a sound mind in the process, you must be motivated to succeed regardless of the consequences. You must be willing to work hard when you have to. Are you willing to take risks? Do you sincerely want the dream of professionalization to become reality? That is, as a member of the Society, have you got the guts to do what it takes to professionalize exercise physiology. I know that you know far more than is necessary to get the job done, but are you ready to concentrate on the professionalization of exercise physiology and put to use all of your insights, ideas, and energy to see it to reality?

If your answer Yes to these questions, then you are ASEP material. Don't ponder that you don't have what it takes. If you have the desire and determination to make a difference, then you have the qualities needed for success. You can stop conforming and fading into the woodwork of non-exercise physiology organizations that have hopelessly handicapped the growth of exercise physiology. In short, you don't have to keep on doing the same passive gestures towards helping exercise physiologists.

Take on the responsiblity, difficulties, and doubts of other people and take control of your future by joining the Society. It is easy to continue "what is...and has been" but successful exercise physiologists must be willing to accept personal responsibility for the success and actions of the people who work in exercise physiology.

Remember: Successful people want to take on professional responsibilities and enjoy making endless decisions to help others.
They are not troubled by insecurities.
They are convinced of their own worth and self-realization.
They know that responsibility is the key to becoming autonomous.
They expose themselves to risk.
They are curious.
They ask questions.
They listen to other people's problems.
They deliver what they promise.
They are ready to seize the opportunity.
They are ready to gamble on their hunch.
They are able to concentrate on what is important.

They have a passion for winning. The problem is that too often even successful people make major mistakes. They ask for less than they could get! Despite the proliferation of benefits available to sports medicine professionals, exercise physiologists have been asking for less professional status than they could get. It would have been better (from the beginning) to have requested for far more than we thought we deserved, and surprisingly we would have gotten more (and, in particular, respect). It is just good common sense to prefer a professional who thinks highly of himself to someone who seems to lack confidence and position.

Also, despite the arguments that exercise physiologists should continue with sports medicine, it no longer means anything. The Society has now put exercise physiologists on the map. ASEP is a constant reafirmation of success. We have, all exercise physiologists have, the proof and leverage to continue surrounding ourselves with motivated professionals to improve the quality of life for all exercise physiology graduates. We owe it to them!

Success, stimulated and made possible through ASEP, has given exercise physiologists a new lease on time and energy used to reshape the profession. In a sense, success is a rebirth with significant in-roads into new responsibilities and possibilities. It is as if the Society is a single entrepreneur arising from obscurity to sudden recognition, self-esteem, and self-confidence to stimulate change. It may be the ultimate turn-around in the liberation of exercise physiologists from an otherwise relatively static and professionally painful existence.

We did it ourselves! How? By expending the energy, working the long hours, and draining "whatever" resources necessary to get the job done. It was about dreaming "what if" -- letting our minds go, freeing the imagination, and indulging fantasies. It was about setting out to doing something and then completing it."

I can't remember who said the following, but it has an interesting ring of truth. "He who is waiting for something to turn up might start with his own shirt sleeves."

Bojourn..........................agarbandhu!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Don't Grow Old - Grow Up!

Don't Grow Old - Grow Up!
agarbandhu

The first step toward maturity - Responsibility
Don't kick the Chair. Be willing to account for yourself; don't blame others.
Damn the Handicaps! - Full Speed Ahead. Don't make a handicap an excuse for failure.
Five Ways to Ditch Disaster:
Accept the inevitable; give time a chance.
Take action against trouble.
Concentrate on helping others.
Use all of life while you have it.
Count your blessings.<

Action is for adults
Belief is the Basis for Action. Know what you believe and act accordingly.
Analyze Before You Act.
Two Wonderful Words that Changed a Life. When the time for action arrives, don't hesitate.

Three great rules for mental health: Know yourself, Like yourself, Be yourself
There's Only One Like You Learn to know yourself by:
Cultivating moments of solitude.
Breaking through the habit barrier.
Developing excitement and enthusiasm.
Conformity: Refuge of the Frightened. Be yourself by developing your own convictions and standards; then have the courage to live with them.
Why is a Bore? Develop inner resources to avoid boring yourself and others.
The Maturing Mind: Adventure in Adult Living. Develop your mind through intellectual activity.
Marriage is for grownups
How to Get Along with Women. Here are seven ways:
Give her appreciation.
Be generous and considerate.
Keep yourself attractive.
Understand a woman's work.
Be dependable.
Share her interests.
Love her.
Father Come Home. Children need fathers too.
How to Get Along with Men. Here are seven ways:
Be good-natured.
Be a good companion.
Be a good listener.
Be adaptable.
Be efficient, not officious.
Be yourself.
Be glad you're a woman.
The Rediscovery of Love. We must develop a more mature concept of love.

Maturity and making friends
Loneliness: The Great American Disease.
People are Wonderful. Learn to appreciate them.
Why Should People Like You? They will like you if you like them and develop qualities of warmth that attract others.
How old are you?
If You're Afraid of Growing Old, Read This. Learn some of the facts about aging.
How to Live to be 100 and Like it. To live longer, develop attitudes that promote health of mind.
Don't Let the Rocking Chair Get You. Work as long as you can.

Maturity of spirit
The Court of Last Appeal. When all else fails, try God.
The Food of the Spirit. Our spirit is nourished through prayer.

Bojourn......................agarbandhu!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Quick and Easy Way to Effective Speaking

The Quick and Easy Way to Effective Speaking

agarbandhu

Fundamentals of Effective Speaking
1. Acquiring the Basic Skills
-Take heart from the experience of others
-Keep your goal before you
-Predetermine your mind to success
-Seize every opportunity to practice
2. Developing Confidence
-Get the facts about fear of speaking in public
-Prepare in the proper way
-Predetermine your mind to success
-Act confident
3. Speaking Effectively the Quick and Easy Way
-Speaking about something you have earned the right to talk about through experience or study
-Be sure you are excited about your subject
-Be eager to share your talk with your listeners
-Speech, Speaker, and Audience
4. Earning the Right to Talk
-Limit your subject
-Develop reserve power
-Fill your talk with illustrations and examples
-Use concrete, familiar words that create pictures
5. Vitalizing the Talk
-Choose subjects you are earnest about
-Relive the Feelings you have about your topic
-Act in earnest
6. Sharing the Talk with the Audience
-Talk in terms of your listeners' interests
-Give honest, sincere appreciation
-Identify yourself with the audience
-Make your audience a partner in your talk
-Play yourself down
-The Purpose of Prepared and Impromptu Talks
7. Making the Short Talk to Get Action
-Give your example, an incident from your life
-State your point, what you want the audience to do
-Give the reason or benefit the audience may expect
8. Making the Talk to Inform
-Restrict your subject to fit the time at your disposal
-Arrange your ideas in sequence
-Enumerate your points as you make them
-Compare the strange with the familiar
-Use visual aids
9. Making the Talk to Convince
-Win confidence by deserving it
-Get a Yes-response
-Speakin with contagious enthusiasm
-Show respect and affection for your audience
-Begin in a friendly way
10. Making Impromptu Talks
-Practice impromptu speaking
-Be mentally ready to speak impromptu
-Get into an example immediately
-Speak with animation and force
-Use the principle of the Here and the Now
-Don't talk impromptu--Give an impromptu talk

The Art of Communicating
11. Delivering the Talk
-Crash through your shell of self-consciousness
-Don't try to imitate others--Be yourself
-Converse with your audience
-Put your heart into your speaking
-Practice making your voice strong and flexible
-The Challenge of Effective Speaking
12. Introducing Speakers, Presenting and Accepting Awards
-Thoroughly prepare what you are going to say
-Follow the T-I-S Formula
-Be enthusiastic
-Thoroughly prepare the talk of presentation
-Express your sincere feelings in the talk of acceptance
13. Organizing the Longer Talk
-Get attention immediately
-Avoid getting unfavorable attention
-Support your main ideas
-Appeal for action
14. Applying What You Have Learned
-Use specific detail in everyday conversation
-Use effective speaking techniques in your job
-Seek Opportunities to speak in public
-You must persist
-Keep the certainty of reward before you

Bojourn...................agarbandhu!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How to Win Friends and Influence People

How to Win Friends and Influence People

agarbandhu

Fundamental Techniques in Handling People
-Don't criticize, condemn or complain.
-Give honest and sincere appreciation.
-Arouse in the other person an eager want.

Six ways to make people like you
-Become genuinely interested in other people.
-Smile.
-Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
-Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
-Talk in terms of the other person's interests.
-Make the other person feel important - and do it sincerely.

Win people to your way of thinking
-The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
-Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never say, "You're wrong."
-If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
-Begin in a friendly way.
-Get the other person saying "yes, yes" immediately.
-Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
-Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
-Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view.
-Be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and desires.
-Appeal to the nobler motives.
-Dramatize your ideas.
-Throw down a challenge.

Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment

-A leader's job often includes changing your people's attitudes and behavior. Some suggestions to accomplish this:
-Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
-Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly.
-Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
-Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
-Let the other person save face.
-Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be "hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise."
-Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
-Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
-Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.

Bojourn.....................agarbandhu!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Habits that can harm your Career

Habits that can harm your Career
agarbandhu

Are you jeopardizing your career without even knowing it? Employers watch their employees' everyday and are making mental notes about them, evaluating their every move.

insight into certain career killers

The following pointers are intended to give you an insight into certain career killers that can be detrimental to the future of your career:

Poor Communication Skills: Nobody likes receiving an e-mail full of typos or attending a presentation by a person who drones on and on monotonously without the slightest bit of inflection or intonation. Having effective communication skills in terms of writing and speaking is a key factor in making an impact. People judge you on this basis and it reflects confidence when one can speak/write clearly and get a message across.

To spruce up on your speaking skills, practice talking in front of a mirror and for those of you prone to spelling errors, it wouldn't hurt to use the "spell check" option on your computer or to even take a few minutes extra to review that memo before hitting the send button.

Procrastination: An unknown author once said, "If it weren't for the last minute, I wouldn't get anything done." No wonder nobody knows his name! Putting off work until later and then cramming it all into a couple of hours is a sure shot career killer.

You run the risk of delivering shoddy, unimpressive work and getting a nasty review from your boss. If you've managed to procrastinate your way through the years, remind yourself that you won't always be so lucky and might end up paying dearly. Your safest bet is to finish tasks and assignments as soon as you get them.

Not stepping out of your comfort zone: Sticking to the job description outlined in your appointment letter will leave you on the same rung of the career ladder for a long time.

Employers like people who want to take on more than they are given. It shows their enthusiasm and interest to learn something new. Sure you'll earn you're share of bread and butter by playing it safe, but going beyond your call of duty will definitely give you an edge over you're peers. This is especially true for youngsters who've just joined the work force and need to prove themselves. They should be ready to start from scratch and lose any sense of entitlement that they might have. Besides, if you start at the bottom, the only place you can go is up.

Bad Manners: Rudeness to the mailroom clerk is a major turn off for employers. Never hesitate to use "please", "thank you" and "Excuse me" and other courtesy words. They are indicators of good upbringing and more importantly, people will like and respect you because you respect them.

Poor appearance: We live in a world where appearance, sadly, counts for a lot. The image you portray determines, to an extent, your progress in your career. If you turn out sloppy and underdressed at your job you will make it harder for yourself to get ahead, as opposed to dressing to impress which will help employers visualize you in a position of power and authority. Keep in mind to dress according to the office norm.

Don't show up in a three piece suit if decent casual clothing is acceptable. The key is to have a pleasant, neat and clean appearance. For more insights on corporate dressing read AssureConsulting.com's article, "Dressing for Success".

Office politics: This is a tricky one which needs to be handled with tact. While indulging in office gossip is often frowned upon, keeping away from the grapevine can also be detrimental to one's career.

"…every workplace has an intricate system of power, and you can -- and should -- work it ethically to your best advantage. It's also crucial to identify your workplace's hidden pockets of power.

On paper, a certain person may be in charge, but you need to know who else in the office has influence so you can be sure to impress the right people.

"Not a team player: This is another tricky situation. One has to find a balance between being a part of team and at the same time getting their individual contributions and efforts toward the team recognized. This isn't always easy as, some times, in an effort to make your work and skills stand out your team mates might view you as being selfish.

You have to be able to further your own interests as well as those of your team. Then you will be recognized and rewarded.Lack of emotional control: Personal problems are a part of life and employers can understand issues like family discord, divorce etc. But that is no excuse for you to let your emotions run wild at the workplace. Your boss expects you to keep your personal problems personal and to take care of them. Always stay in control and avoid public disagreements, raising your voice or having an emotional breakdown in the office. Being too emotional sends out the message that you are unstable, unreliable and cant handle pressure.

Not Networking: If you want your career to progress it is essential that you maintain contacts of people that can help you get ahead. Keeping in touch with people can help you with your next career move as only 10 per cent of all jobs are advertised and the rest are made known through contacts and word of mouth. It is also important to stay in touch with people who can give you good references and recommendations.

Bojourn..............!!!!!!!!!!!!! agarbandhu

Dressing for Success

Dressing for Success

agarbandhu

From an employer’s perspective, appearance counts big time

Though we have often been told to never judge a book by its cover, we still do. It is only human nature. From an employer’s perspective, appearance counts big time, whether it is an interview, a meeting with a client or an office presentation. It is always important to look the part to if you want to make a good impression. That's not to say you can forget about preparing for a presentation, put on a nice suit, and you’ll win them over. All the ingredients -- knowledge, preparation, and appearance -- are equally important.

Dos and don’ts regarding casual office attire:
Office wear isn’t always about suits and ties. Several offices these days have casual dress codes but one must be aware of the line that separates casual work wear from plain ole sloppy. Here are some simple dos and don’ts regarding casual office attire:
· Clothes should always be neat and clean All seams must be finished. Torn, dirty, wrinkled or frayed clothing is unacceptable as is clothing that has words, terms, or pictures that may be offensive to other employees.
· Colors: For women all pastel shades and medium tones -- like mustard, turquoise blue, deep pink and olive -- are acceptable. Only try striking colors like reds and black if you are comfortable. For men, black, navy blue, dark grey, khaki and white are always safe options.
· Casual shirts, golf shirts, dress shirts, sweaters, tops, blouses, and turtlenecks are acceptable. Most suit jackets or sport jackets are also acceptable. Simple well-fitted jeans have recently become very common at the workplace.
· Unkempt footwear can ruin an otherwise polished look. Shoes must be in good condition. Boots, flats, clogs, sneakers, and heels are acceptable. Flashy athletic shoes, flip-flops, and slippers do not suit a professional environment.
· Inappropriate attire includes sweatpants, exercise pants, shorts, Bermuda shorts, overalls, mini skirts, leggings, and spandex clothing. Keep away from tank tops, sweatshirts, midriff tops, halter-tops, tops with bare shoulders.
· Clothing that reveals too much cleavage, your back, your chest, your stomach or your underwear is not appropriate for a place of business. Hats are not appropriate in the office. Head covers that are required for religious purposes or to honor cultural tradition are usually allowed.
· Finishing touches Try not to carry your entire world with you in an oversized bag. Invest in medium-sized leather handbags in black, brown and beige to get to the boardroom. Keep jewelry simple and coordinated in design--a chain with a pendant, matching earrings and a bracelet. Nails should be clean and neat and of reasonable length. Your hair should be neatly styled.

For women: makeup should be subtle. Wear a subtle perfume or cologne that suits your personality.
If you are unsure about acceptable causal attire for work, please ask your supervisor or your Human Resources staff

Bojourn..............!!!!!!!!!!! agarbandhu

Managing Oneself

Managing Oneself

agarbandhu

The Idea in Brief
We live in an age of unprecedented opportunity: If you've got ambition, drive, and smarts, you can rise to the top of your chosen profession--regardless of where you started out. But with opportunity comes responsibility. Companies today aren't managing their knowledge workers' careers. Rather, we must each be our own chief executive officer.

carve out your place in the work world
Simply put, it's up to you to carve out your place in the work world and know when to change course. And it's up to you to keep yourself engaged and productive during a work life that may span some 50 years.

cultivate a deep understanding of yourself
To do all of these things well, you'll need to cultivate a deep understanding of yourself. What are your most valuable strengths and most dangerous weaknesses? Equally important, how do you learn and work with others? What are your most deeply held values? And in what type of work environment can you make the greatest contribution?

The implication is clear: Only when you operate from a combination of your strengths and self-knowledge can you achieve true--and lasting--excellence.

The Idea in Practice
To build a life of excellence, begin by asking yourself these questions:

"What Are My Strengths?"
To accurately identify your strengths, use feedback analysis. Every time you make a key decision, write down the outcome you expect. Several months later, compare the actual results with your expected results.

Look for patterns in what you're seeing: What results are you skilled at generating? What abilities do you need to enhance in order to get the results you want? What unproductive habits are preventing you from creating the outcomes you desire?

In identifying opportunities for improvement, don't waste time cultivating skill areas where you have little competence. Instead, concentrate on--and build on--your strengths.

"How Do I Work?"
In what ways do you work best? Do you process information most effectively by reading it, or by hearing others discuss it? Do you accomplish the most by working with other people, or by working alone? Do you perform best while making decisions, or while advising others on key matters? Are you in top form when things get stressful, or do you function optimally in a highly predictable environment?

"What Are My Values?"
What are your ethics? What do you see as your most important responsibilities for living a worthy, ethical life? Do your organization's ethics resonate with your own values? If not, your career will likely be marked by frustration and poor performance.

"Where Do I Belong?"
Consider your strengths, preferred work style, and values. Based on these qualities, in what kind of work environment would you fit in best? Find the perfect fit, and you'll transform yourself from a merely acceptable employee into a star performer.

"What Can I Contribute?"
In earlier eras, companies told businesspeople what their contribution should be. Today, you have choices. To decide how you can best enhance your organization's performance, first ask what the situation requires. Based on your strengths, work style, and values, how might you make the greatest contribution to your organization's efforts?

Bojourn..............!!!!!!!!!!!!!! agarbandhu

Keep Your Crown on Your Head

Keep Your Crown on Your Head

agarbandhu

Most of the time we are always thinking about what people will say if we fail in our examinations; if we are badly dressed; if our hair is not combed well and so on.

What does one do? Well, nobody except ourselves can do much about it. Let me help you.

Visualise Ganeshjee. Ganeshjee has a crown, which as you know was part of our dress centuries ago…it was replaced by the turban, the hat, and so on. Well, it signifies self-respect. In today’s world, we must wear our own crown…be it of gold or of silver or of paper!

Never lose your self-respect because if you lose it, you have lost all. One who cannot respect himself, cannot expect to be respected by others.

failure is not falling down but staying down
For a wise man, failure is not falling down but staying down. Failure is not the end of dreams; it is only the beginning. Failure teaches success if you are open to new ideas and consider failures to be stepping-stones to success. A man can fail many times, but he is not a real failure until he begins to blame someone else.

President of USA : Abraham Lincoln
There was one man in this world who believed in all that has been said above, and who has become a "light-house" for millions of people who followed him. His name was Abraham Lincoln and he became President of USA when he was 51, after a string of failures.

His resume is as follows:

Age 22, failed in business

Age 23, ran for legislature and was defeated.

Age 24, failed again in business.

Age 25, elected to legislature.

Age 26, sweetheart died.

Age 27, had a nervous breakdown.

Age 29, lost in the election for speaker.

Age 31, lost in the election for elector.

Age 34 lost in the election to the Congress.

Age 37, elected to Congress.

Age 39, lost in the election to the Congress.

Age 46, lost in the election to the Senate.

Age 47, lost in the election for vice president.

Age 49, lost in the election to the senate.

Age 51, elected President of the United States of America.

Abraham Lincoln did not bother about what people said about him when he failed. Even when he became the President, people still criticized him but instead of becoming disheartened, he said, "No man is good enough to be President, but someone has to be."

Thinking the Lincoln way
Lincoln would certainly have believed in the fact that a failure is an opportunity for a man who has kept his self respect intact. Thinking the Lincoln way and trying to be happy will give you happiness while you are going about achieving it. You do not have to worry about what others think about your failures; they are too busy thinking about their own failures! Each step towards success can give happiness if you try to do creatively. Never forget that happiness is always short-lived unless you can make it long-lived! Achieving your small goals by thinking innovatively leads to happiness, because you don’t have time to be too critical.

Creative thinking
Creative thinking can be done when your self-esteem is intact. You can then face people as well as your other auditors in life. Your self-image is in your mind. Your self-image improves when you have good family relations, god moral standards, good friends, enough cash, when you love what you do for a living, follow the essentials of your religion, and so on.

Nurture your self-esteem
Nurture your self-esteem by helping other people. Whenever you are rejected, it is not you who is rejected but it is your action or activity that is rejected. Analyse each rejection. I can, I can…will always improve your self-image. You cannot do it overnight; it is a very s-l-o-w process, but never give up. No one can make you feel inferior without your permission. There may be a hundred ways of improving your self-image and reducing your stress levels.

make sure that you feel good
My self-esteem is very important to me. I make sure that I feel good about myself…most of the time. I achieve it by reminding myself of my own successes over the years and keeping a list of my successes handy!

mood-o-metre
I use a mood-o-metre all the time. It is a simple device which indicates moods going up (positive) or down (negative). You can prevent yourself from going down by refusing to entertain negative thoughts and seeking opportunities in adverse conditions.

speak to yourself
I speak to myself. If I have nothing good to say about myself, I keep my mouth shut! It is not easy, but it is better that way!

Please remember that when you feel good about yourself, you improve your self-image and it is a fact that it reduces your stress. Why? Because you can hold only one thought in your mind at a particular time.

Try! If you are thinking about the Taj Mahal, can you think of what Ramesh said to you tauntingly at lunch? Years ago, I took a motorcycle accident victim to Holy Family Hospital. Whenever I think about it, I feel happy to have done a good deed.

Doing some social work
You too can do it by doing some social work in your neighborhood. It will work.
Once my wife used to fret and fume about streetlights, the pigs on the street and the watchman. I encouraged her to become our lane’s block representative. On an average, she now spends an hour every day by making several calls to get things done. She has been able to reduce her stress by 30 per cent! She has that much les time to worry and to nag me and our daughters! Believe me, if you have a strong self image, your stress levels will be lower.

Do what you think is right.

Do not bother about what people will say…what the auditors will say…what colleagues will say…what neighbors will say. These are immobilizing thoughts. Remember the story of the father, the son and the donkey going to the market. They got so influenced by what people thought of them that neither of them could ride the donkey.

Do what you think is right, what you think is proper. Remember, you find them to be wrong. On the other hand, if you do not take any decisions at all, how will you ever be able to improve your future decision-making?

Bojourn............!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! agarbandhu

Prioritise : To help yourself

Prioritise : To help yourself

agarbandhu

goal in life?
When you reach for the stars, you may not quite get one, but you won’t come with a handful of mud either. What is your goal in life? When I ask this question in class room I get different answers. I have come to the conclusion that my goal in life is to make myself happy first. If I am happy, I can make others happy.

When we set our goals, we become happy. We cannot remain stressful for too long. To remain happy, my goals are: to do my best in my job and to remain busy when I am not working.

Two aspects of life
In our jobs, businesses and social life we have two aspects – one is essential and the other is inessential. We can survive by doing what is essential only. For this reason, you will notice that many of us are successful and happy even when we work for less hours or earn less money. In sifting the essential from the inessential, you have to be smart.

Do One Thing at a Time
I focus on one thing at a time. Earlier, I used to do many things at the same time to achieve more goals or to reach the goals faster. I drove to Faridabad daily for twenty long years. At stressfree speeds, it took me thirty five minutes to reach Escorts. At stressful speeds, it took twenty eight minutes. I realized that it was foolish trying to save seven minutes everyday!

Moreover, during a stressfree drive, I can go through my mental floppies and come up with excellent ideas sometimes which help me see things in a better perspective.

fix and refix goals
Very often, by prioritizing, you are able to fix and refix goals and reduce your mental clutter and stress. Let me recount a story which elucidates this fact:
The first ever employees to make a million dollars a year were Walter Chrysler and Charles Schwab in the USA. Schwab once asked a consultant to suggest how he could get more done in a day. The consultant, after spending a week with him, suggested the following:
"Every morning, write down what are the six most important things you want to do on that day. Start doing the first one first, and then the second and then the third. And if by then the day is over, add three more the next day. Do it for three months and if it works, send me your payment."

Schwab sent him Rs.25,000/-

"cocktail" of activities

Well, what do you and many of us do?

We think that we are very smart. So we do several things at the same time.

This "cocktail" of activities only confuses us and we forget to apply the 80/20 principle – namely, that 20 per cent of the results and vice versa. This is applicable to any activity – say inventories, overdues, selling and so on. Of course, 80/20 can become 70/30 or 60/40.

Be effective…do the right things now. And then try to become efficient by doing these the right way. Very often, we spend considerable energy working the other way round – doing the wrong or unnecessary things with great gusto.

Goals must be Specific and Time-bound
A goal must have an action plan with dates to achieve it. A goal must have a meaningful end, one which gives you satisfaction and an inner glow, one which is pleasing to others and you don’t end up with guilt feelings. Your near and dear ones must feel happy about it also.

tempting to give up

Years ago, I asked one of my friend (while in delhi) why he went jogging all the way to India Gate (6 kms away from our house) instead of jogging in our lawn. He replied that when he kept India Gate as his goal, he ran up to that point and on reaching there had to come back, but if he jogged in the lawn, it would be too tempting to give up after taking only a few rounds.

Any goal must be specific and have a time limit. An excellent example is John F. Kennedy’s historic directive: "I believe this nation should commit itself to achieving the goal of putting a man on the moon before the decade is over."

a dream with a time limit

When you set goals, you overcome short-term problems. When you aim for perfection, you move towards your goal. You may be off by miles but you will be moving in the right direction. A goal is nothing more than a dream with a time limit.

Happiness, wealth, fame, fun, success, stress reduction, writing more books, traveling – you name it – are all byproducts of goal-setting.

Take small steps to achieve your goals. Many people fail to arrive at their goals because they take big steps quickly. Let us look at a high jumper. In fact, we must learn from sportsmen while setting our goals. If the goal of a high jumper is 6 feet, he does not start at 6 feet. He may start at 4, 41/2, 43/4…!

Bojourn................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! agarbandhu

live from your commitments!

live from your commitments!

agarbandhu

The word commit comes from the Latin word committere, which means to connect, entrust.
When we stand behind our words, we demonstrate commitment. Commitment exists when our actions meet the expectation of our words - when there's a congruency between intent, words and action.
Consider the following concepts & may they inspire you to live from your commitments!

Top Ten Truths About Commitment

1. Commitment is connection! Commitment is the connection between our values, intentions and our actions. Connection is the coming together of more than one element, while commitment is the giving of our selves to it, the surrender. The connections we make generate our commitments, just as our commitments generate more profound connections.

2. Passion: the essence of commitment! Passion is that which deeply stirs us. It's the fire from within and that which motivates us. When passion is missing, our actions lack meaning and we don't get the results we want. Without passion, our actions are obligatory and lack velocity. Commitment emanates from passion -- passion is the seed from which commitment blossoms!

3. Commitment = persistence. If one is committed, one's support is uncompromising and unending. One is willing to do anything in support of the commitment. This applies to love as much as it applies to professional or global commitments. Commitment drives us and anchors us during challenging times. Commitment helps us to maintain our integrity; we persist to that which we're committed.

4. Commitment is conscious! Commitment requires insight and self-awareness -- one must know what one's values and ideals in order to commit to them! Do you know someone who's a conscientious and productive worker but who's not happy? Such a person frequently lacks insight and self-awareness - commitment is difficult if you don't know what's most important to you! Commitment requires an ability to observe self and make conscious decisions.

5. Commitment is purposeful. Commitment involves choice - saying yes to our values and to our passions! Commitment is never haphazard or random. While we may lose our perspective from time to time, commitment always involves choice and intent. Commitment enables us to be purposeful.

6. Commitment is self-expression. Self-expression is the culmination of who we are and how we're being. When there's perfect alignment and congruency between who we are and how we're being, we are authentic and fully self-expressed. This is wonderfully fulfilling! If commitment is the ultimate expression of our values and who we are, self-expression is a core ingredient of commitment.

7. Vision brings forth our commitment. Does commitment generate the envisioning process, or does vision generate commitment? Either way, commitment and vision are inexplicably tied together. Expand your vision while you deepen your commitment in order to produce powerful results!

8. Commitment inspires us to be and do our best. We aim for the sky and shoot for the stars! We refuse to accept less than the best from our selves and others. Our commitment inspires us to reach for quality and excellence. We continually enlarge and clarify our vision - this contributes to us living our personal best.

9. Commitment lives in communication. Communication involves verbal and nonverbal interaction. While commitment lives in the declaration and words, evidence of commitment lives in the actions we take and don't take. Be attentive for evidence of commitment in communication.

10. Commitment is surrender. Commitment is the giving of our selves to what we most believe and want. It is the merging of our ideals and our being. We surrender to our ideals and with commitment, live them. We create what we want when we surrender to our commitment.

Bojourn...............!!!!!!!!!!!! agarbandhu

Learn From Your Memories - Explore Your Past

Learn From Your Memories - Explore Your Past

agarbandhu

Who you are today, your personality and your values, depends on the past events that shaped you.

You can always find connections between a present thought or feeling and a past event, no matter how far away it might seem.

Explanations for present events can be found by going through some memories, and this practice shows you how to do that. By trying this you will be able to reinterpret yourself, by learning not to judge your actions but to accept and understand them.

Begin by finding a comfortable position, in a chair or armchair. Have a piece of paper or notebook and a pen ready and put them besides you.

Try to relax your body and your mind and breath rhythmically through your nose. When you have achieved a state of increased self-awareness go back in time and think of an unpleasant memory that has marked your entire life.

You don’t have to find something dramatic – in childhood, for example, even the most insignificant looking remark may have a huge impact on your personality.

Let’s say that, as a child, you broke a crystal vase that your mother held dear. She might have said: “You can’t do anything right!”. Of course, that was just an anger driven reaction on her part that disappeared after a short while but you, as a child, were deeply affected by it. When you have selected your past event try to briefly write it down and finish with a phrase that summarizes your experience (e.g. “You can’t do anything right!”).

Make sure your breathing is still rhythmical and relaxed and then think about a minimum of three things that you can learn from that past experience. Do not get stuck on the final phrase, but try to analyze your action in a non-judgmental manner.

Identify and assimilate the things that you could have improved

The main idea is to identify and assimilate the things that you could have improved. Don’t quickly dismiss your past problem by saying “it was a child’s mistake”.

The goal here is to find out how any mistake can teach you to become better, instead of lowering your self-esteem and confidence. When you have found a few positive remarks about the past experience try to write them down. Don’t force your mind to come up with the ideas; instead, try to let everything flow naturally.

After you’re done writing make sure to read the statements a couple of times and remember their essence. Put the paper aside and get back to connecting with your breathing.

Take a minute or two to focus solely on your breathing and then recall the positive ideas you jotted down on the piece of paper.

As an example, in the case of the broken vase, you could write: “I have to concentrate more on my actions”. Repeat that thought in your mind and make sure it represents you completely.

Do the same with all the other positive ideas you cam up with. Believing in them and repeating their essence enables you to make them part of who you are.

This exercise is especially useful when you are aware that you are about to go through a similar experience. You may not be in danger of breaking another vase, but you might be in the situation where something a friend holds dear will be in your hands, in your responsibility. If you feel stressed and fearful about that situation make sure you recall the positive aspects from your exercise.

Repeat them in your mind before the event and your self-confidence will receive a well-deserved boost, allowing you to do your job free from any negative roots to the past.

Bojourn............!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! agarbandhu

Building confidence

Building confidence

agarbandhu

Reading about confidence and actually having it are very different issues. You can read about it your entire life, but you won’t have it until you make a move to achieve it.

It’s not something that comes easily either. You will make mistakes along the way towards building confidence and this should be expected. Just like riding a horse or a bike, you’ll fall and scrape your knees a few times, but then you have to get back up there and go for it.

Just get on the saddle and do it
One fine day, you’re going to have to do it. Watching and reading about it won’t do any good at all if you want to have confidence in life.

The real deal is that you’re going to have to get on the saddle and start to paddle. Why, you say? Confidence is not theory. Confidence is a feeling and state of mind.

Therefore, it’s not completely possible for any one to build confidence without having to do something about it. So, go on and start doing whatever it is that you want to have confidence in.

Do the right things and confidence will come almost too-naturally to you?

Experience builds confidence
Money and gold won’t buy you confidence. They don’t come in a nice packaging off the shelves. Pharmacies don’t carry them. And physicians can’t hand you ‘confidence’ in a bottle marked ‘take three times a day’. The only person who can give you or prescribe you confidence is…. sadly, yourself.

‘get on with it and do it’

The reason why we say ‘get on with it and do it’ is because we want you to have experience. You see, the more times you do something (it doesn’t matter whether you fail more times at it than you succeed), the better you get at it (slowly but surely).

The better you get at it, the more confidence you will have. It’s impossible to see it right now but you have indeed improved. You’ve made progress, you can’t see it, but you are! And the more experience you have, the more confident you will become.

How confident you want to become depends on yourself. You’re steering the boat so, you decide when you’re confident enough. But ultimately, like they always say…. practice makes perfect!

Faking confidence
Fake it enough, you’ll soon realize that you don’t even need to fake it.

Wear the right clothes, behave in a certain way (without going overboard) and one day, you won’t even have to make an effort to appear or behave confidently.

Start talking confidently without stammering. No ‘uh’ and no ‘ah’ makes you sound confident. And the behavior and feelings become so real and so natural that you are confident by default!

While you cannot fake confidence in your game of tennis (because actions speak louder than words), you can behave confidently when you lose. When that is the case, your feelings and whatever it is in your mind becomes real.

And like they say, whatever that is in your mind will one day transform into something real.

Bojourn.............!!!!!!!!!!!!! agarbandhu

Vyaktitva Vikas Karyakram

Vyaktitva Vikas Karyakram
agarbandhu

The Vyaktitva Vikas Karyakram “Hamara Vikas Hamara Vishwas” intends to cover a wide spectrum of topics ranging from role effectiveness, public image and orientation, effective communication, self- motivation, health, stress, time and conflict management over a period of entire life span of the aspirants.

Learn To Live Life The Fun Way

Happy and sad moment alternate in our lives and the problem arises when we realize we have no or very little control over them. A 100% happy life is utopist, but there are ways to train yourself to react better to problems and difficulties.

Let’s have a look at some of the most frequently used methods of cheering yourself up, no matter how big the problems

Try to surround yourself with cute things, like children or animals. You will be instantly “contaminated” with their joy and innocence and, at least temporarily, a huge weight will be lifted from your shoulders.

Children are also great teachers, even though they don’t realize it. Take their example, for a moment, and enjoy every single thing life has to offer you, like kicking a ball, throwing stones in the water or savoring a candy bar.

In general just have fun.It never hurts to offer yourself a reward every now and then. After a long day struggling with problems your mind and body need some time off.

Do one of your favorite things: watch TV all evening without moving a muscle, take a long hot bath, play a computer game or go out and dance. Fun moments will remind you of how life should be and this will motivate you even more to do your best and solve all problems as fast as possible, so that you can go back to fully enjoying life.

Gather some courage and face whatever is worrying you. The worst idea is to lock yourself in and to start feeling sorry for yourself. Thinking about a problem for hours and hours will do you very little good. It’s time to take action and, even though it is hard, to take the first steps toward solving the difficulties. If you have a health problem, for example, and you are afraid to go to the doctor just wake up one morning and do it. Don’t think about it, don’t analyze, just go. Once you get to the doctor your mind will probably come up with a dozen good excuses to get you out of there – try to resist it. The sooner you solve your problems the less chances there are of letting them grow out of control. Immerse yourself in a creative activity, such as painting or practicing a new sport. This will keep your mind away from worrying and you will win some well-deserved relaxation. Seeing your friends is also a good method of eliminating stress and worries. You can try to combine the two and get involved, together with some friends, in a new and exciting activity. Physical activities work like a charm as they also grab the full attention of your mind. A tennis or soccer match won’t give you enough time to start having negative thoughts, as you will be focused on the action. Activities that involve your mind – such as chess, for example – are also effective, as long as they are fun and the competition factor is low. By following the general guidelines presented above you will reduce stress factors and allow your mind and body to recharge their energy and respond better to any distressful influences.

Bojourn.............!!!!!!!!!!!! agarbandhu