Managing Oneself

Managing Oneself

agarbandhu

The Idea in Brief
We live in an age of unprecedented opportunity: If you've got ambition, drive, and smarts, you can rise to the top of your chosen profession--regardless of where you started out. But with opportunity comes responsibility. Companies today aren't managing their knowledge workers' careers. Rather, we must each be our own chief executive officer.

carve out your place in the work world
Simply put, it's up to you to carve out your place in the work world and know when to change course. And it's up to you to keep yourself engaged and productive during a work life that may span some 50 years.

cultivate a deep understanding of yourself
To do all of these things well, you'll need to cultivate a deep understanding of yourself. What are your most valuable strengths and most dangerous weaknesses? Equally important, how do you learn and work with others? What are your most deeply held values? And in what type of work environment can you make the greatest contribution?

The implication is clear: Only when you operate from a combination of your strengths and self-knowledge can you achieve true--and lasting--excellence.

The Idea in Practice
To build a life of excellence, begin by asking yourself these questions:

"What Are My Strengths?"
To accurately identify your strengths, use feedback analysis. Every time you make a key decision, write down the outcome you expect. Several months later, compare the actual results with your expected results.

Look for patterns in what you're seeing: What results are you skilled at generating? What abilities do you need to enhance in order to get the results you want? What unproductive habits are preventing you from creating the outcomes you desire?

In identifying opportunities for improvement, don't waste time cultivating skill areas where you have little competence. Instead, concentrate on--and build on--your strengths.

"How Do I Work?"
In what ways do you work best? Do you process information most effectively by reading it, or by hearing others discuss it? Do you accomplish the most by working with other people, or by working alone? Do you perform best while making decisions, or while advising others on key matters? Are you in top form when things get stressful, or do you function optimally in a highly predictable environment?

"What Are My Values?"
What are your ethics? What do you see as your most important responsibilities for living a worthy, ethical life? Do your organization's ethics resonate with your own values? If not, your career will likely be marked by frustration and poor performance.

"Where Do I Belong?"
Consider your strengths, preferred work style, and values. Based on these qualities, in what kind of work environment would you fit in best? Find the perfect fit, and you'll transform yourself from a merely acceptable employee into a star performer.

"What Can I Contribute?"
In earlier eras, companies told businesspeople what their contribution should be. Today, you have choices. To decide how you can best enhance your organization's performance, first ask what the situation requires. Based on your strengths, work style, and values, how might you make the greatest contribution to your organization's efforts?

Bojourn..............!!!!!!!!!!!!!! agarbandhu

Keep Your Crown on Your Head

Keep Your Crown on Your Head

agarbandhu

Most of the time we are always thinking about what people will say if we fail in our examinations; if we are badly dressed; if our hair is not combed well and so on.

What does one do? Well, nobody except ourselves can do much about it. Let me help you.

Visualise Ganeshjee. Ganeshjee has a crown, which as you know was part of our dress centuries ago…it was replaced by the turban, the hat, and so on. Well, it signifies self-respect. In today’s world, we must wear our own crown…be it of gold or of silver or of paper!

Never lose your self-respect because if you lose it, you have lost all. One who cannot respect himself, cannot expect to be respected by others.

failure is not falling down but staying down
For a wise man, failure is not falling down but staying down. Failure is not the end of dreams; it is only the beginning. Failure teaches success if you are open to new ideas and consider failures to be stepping-stones to success. A man can fail many times, but he is not a real failure until he begins to blame someone else.

President of USA : Abraham Lincoln
There was one man in this world who believed in all that has been said above, and who has become a "light-house" for millions of people who followed him. His name was Abraham Lincoln and he became President of USA when he was 51, after a string of failures.

His resume is as follows:

Age 22, failed in business

Age 23, ran for legislature and was defeated.

Age 24, failed again in business.

Age 25, elected to legislature.

Age 26, sweetheart died.

Age 27, had a nervous breakdown.

Age 29, lost in the election for speaker.

Age 31, lost in the election for elector.

Age 34 lost in the election to the Congress.

Age 37, elected to Congress.

Age 39, lost in the election to the Congress.

Age 46, lost in the election to the Senate.

Age 47, lost in the election for vice president.

Age 49, lost in the election to the senate.

Age 51, elected President of the United States of America.

Abraham Lincoln did not bother about what people said about him when he failed. Even when he became the President, people still criticized him but instead of becoming disheartened, he said, "No man is good enough to be President, but someone has to be."

Thinking the Lincoln way
Lincoln would certainly have believed in the fact that a failure is an opportunity for a man who has kept his self respect intact. Thinking the Lincoln way and trying to be happy will give you happiness while you are going about achieving it. You do not have to worry about what others think about your failures; they are too busy thinking about their own failures! Each step towards success can give happiness if you try to do creatively. Never forget that happiness is always short-lived unless you can make it long-lived! Achieving your small goals by thinking innovatively leads to happiness, because you don’t have time to be too critical.

Creative thinking
Creative thinking can be done when your self-esteem is intact. You can then face people as well as your other auditors in life. Your self-image is in your mind. Your self-image improves when you have good family relations, god moral standards, good friends, enough cash, when you love what you do for a living, follow the essentials of your religion, and so on.

Nurture your self-esteem
Nurture your self-esteem by helping other people. Whenever you are rejected, it is not you who is rejected but it is your action or activity that is rejected. Analyse each rejection. I can, I can…will always improve your self-image. You cannot do it overnight; it is a very s-l-o-w process, but never give up. No one can make you feel inferior without your permission. There may be a hundred ways of improving your self-image and reducing your stress levels.

make sure that you feel good
My self-esteem is very important to me. I make sure that I feel good about myself…most of the time. I achieve it by reminding myself of my own successes over the years and keeping a list of my successes handy!

mood-o-metre
I use a mood-o-metre all the time. It is a simple device which indicates moods going up (positive) or down (negative). You can prevent yourself from going down by refusing to entertain negative thoughts and seeking opportunities in adverse conditions.

speak to yourself
I speak to myself. If I have nothing good to say about myself, I keep my mouth shut! It is not easy, but it is better that way!

Please remember that when you feel good about yourself, you improve your self-image and it is a fact that it reduces your stress. Why? Because you can hold only one thought in your mind at a particular time.

Try! If you are thinking about the Taj Mahal, can you think of what Ramesh said to you tauntingly at lunch? Years ago, I took a motorcycle accident victim to Holy Family Hospital. Whenever I think about it, I feel happy to have done a good deed.

Doing some social work
You too can do it by doing some social work in your neighborhood. It will work.
Once my wife used to fret and fume about streetlights, the pigs on the street and the watchman. I encouraged her to become our lane’s block representative. On an average, she now spends an hour every day by making several calls to get things done. She has been able to reduce her stress by 30 per cent! She has that much les time to worry and to nag me and our daughters! Believe me, if you have a strong self image, your stress levels will be lower.

Do what you think is right.

Do not bother about what people will say…what the auditors will say…what colleagues will say…what neighbors will say. These are immobilizing thoughts. Remember the story of the father, the son and the donkey going to the market. They got so influenced by what people thought of them that neither of them could ride the donkey.

Do what you think is right, what you think is proper. Remember, you find them to be wrong. On the other hand, if you do not take any decisions at all, how will you ever be able to improve your future decision-making?

Bojourn............!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! agarbandhu

Prioritise : To help yourself

Prioritise : To help yourself

agarbandhu

goal in life?
When you reach for the stars, you may not quite get one, but you won’t come with a handful of mud either. What is your goal in life? When I ask this question in class room I get different answers. I have come to the conclusion that my goal in life is to make myself happy first. If I am happy, I can make others happy.

When we set our goals, we become happy. We cannot remain stressful for too long. To remain happy, my goals are: to do my best in my job and to remain busy when I am not working.

Two aspects of life
In our jobs, businesses and social life we have two aspects – one is essential and the other is inessential. We can survive by doing what is essential only. For this reason, you will notice that many of us are successful and happy even when we work for less hours or earn less money. In sifting the essential from the inessential, you have to be smart.

Do One Thing at a Time
I focus on one thing at a time. Earlier, I used to do many things at the same time to achieve more goals or to reach the goals faster. I drove to Faridabad daily for twenty long years. At stressfree speeds, it took me thirty five minutes to reach Escorts. At stressful speeds, it took twenty eight minutes. I realized that it was foolish trying to save seven minutes everyday!

Moreover, during a stressfree drive, I can go through my mental floppies and come up with excellent ideas sometimes which help me see things in a better perspective.

fix and refix goals
Very often, by prioritizing, you are able to fix and refix goals and reduce your mental clutter and stress. Let me recount a story which elucidates this fact:
The first ever employees to make a million dollars a year were Walter Chrysler and Charles Schwab in the USA. Schwab once asked a consultant to suggest how he could get more done in a day. The consultant, after spending a week with him, suggested the following:
"Every morning, write down what are the six most important things you want to do on that day. Start doing the first one first, and then the second and then the third. And if by then the day is over, add three more the next day. Do it for three months and if it works, send me your payment."

Schwab sent him Rs.25,000/-

"cocktail" of activities

Well, what do you and many of us do?

We think that we are very smart. So we do several things at the same time.

This "cocktail" of activities only confuses us and we forget to apply the 80/20 principle – namely, that 20 per cent of the results and vice versa. This is applicable to any activity – say inventories, overdues, selling and so on. Of course, 80/20 can become 70/30 or 60/40.

Be effective…do the right things now. And then try to become efficient by doing these the right way. Very often, we spend considerable energy working the other way round – doing the wrong or unnecessary things with great gusto.

Goals must be Specific and Time-bound
A goal must have an action plan with dates to achieve it. A goal must have a meaningful end, one which gives you satisfaction and an inner glow, one which is pleasing to others and you don’t end up with guilt feelings. Your near and dear ones must feel happy about it also.

tempting to give up

Years ago, I asked one of my friend (while in delhi) why he went jogging all the way to India Gate (6 kms away from our house) instead of jogging in our lawn. He replied that when he kept India Gate as his goal, he ran up to that point and on reaching there had to come back, but if he jogged in the lawn, it would be too tempting to give up after taking only a few rounds.

Any goal must be specific and have a time limit. An excellent example is John F. Kennedy’s historic directive: "I believe this nation should commit itself to achieving the goal of putting a man on the moon before the decade is over."

a dream with a time limit

When you set goals, you overcome short-term problems. When you aim for perfection, you move towards your goal. You may be off by miles but you will be moving in the right direction. A goal is nothing more than a dream with a time limit.

Happiness, wealth, fame, fun, success, stress reduction, writing more books, traveling – you name it – are all byproducts of goal-setting.

Take small steps to achieve your goals. Many people fail to arrive at their goals because they take big steps quickly. Let us look at a high jumper. In fact, we must learn from sportsmen while setting our goals. If the goal of a high jumper is 6 feet, he does not start at 6 feet. He may start at 4, 41/2, 43/4…!

Bojourn................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! agarbandhu

live from your commitments!

live from your commitments!

agarbandhu

The word commit comes from the Latin word committere, which means to connect, entrust.
When we stand behind our words, we demonstrate commitment. Commitment exists when our actions meet the expectation of our words - when there's a congruency between intent, words and action.
Consider the following concepts & may they inspire you to live from your commitments!

Top Ten Truths About Commitment

1. Commitment is connection! Commitment is the connection between our values, intentions and our actions. Connection is the coming together of more than one element, while commitment is the giving of our selves to it, the surrender. The connections we make generate our commitments, just as our commitments generate more profound connections.

2. Passion: the essence of commitment! Passion is that which deeply stirs us. It's the fire from within and that which motivates us. When passion is missing, our actions lack meaning and we don't get the results we want. Without passion, our actions are obligatory and lack velocity. Commitment emanates from passion -- passion is the seed from which commitment blossoms!

3. Commitment = persistence. If one is committed, one's support is uncompromising and unending. One is willing to do anything in support of the commitment. This applies to love as much as it applies to professional or global commitments. Commitment drives us and anchors us during challenging times. Commitment helps us to maintain our integrity; we persist to that which we're committed.

4. Commitment is conscious! Commitment requires insight and self-awareness -- one must know what one's values and ideals in order to commit to them! Do you know someone who's a conscientious and productive worker but who's not happy? Such a person frequently lacks insight and self-awareness - commitment is difficult if you don't know what's most important to you! Commitment requires an ability to observe self and make conscious decisions.

5. Commitment is purposeful. Commitment involves choice - saying yes to our values and to our passions! Commitment is never haphazard or random. While we may lose our perspective from time to time, commitment always involves choice and intent. Commitment enables us to be purposeful.

6. Commitment is self-expression. Self-expression is the culmination of who we are and how we're being. When there's perfect alignment and congruency between who we are and how we're being, we are authentic and fully self-expressed. This is wonderfully fulfilling! If commitment is the ultimate expression of our values and who we are, self-expression is a core ingredient of commitment.

7. Vision brings forth our commitment. Does commitment generate the envisioning process, or does vision generate commitment? Either way, commitment and vision are inexplicably tied together. Expand your vision while you deepen your commitment in order to produce powerful results!

8. Commitment inspires us to be and do our best. We aim for the sky and shoot for the stars! We refuse to accept less than the best from our selves and others. Our commitment inspires us to reach for quality and excellence. We continually enlarge and clarify our vision - this contributes to us living our personal best.

9. Commitment lives in communication. Communication involves verbal and nonverbal interaction. While commitment lives in the declaration and words, evidence of commitment lives in the actions we take and don't take. Be attentive for evidence of commitment in communication.

10. Commitment is surrender. Commitment is the giving of our selves to what we most believe and want. It is the merging of our ideals and our being. We surrender to our ideals and with commitment, live them. We create what we want when we surrender to our commitment.

Bojourn...............!!!!!!!!!!!! agarbandhu

Learn From Your Memories - Explore Your Past

Learn From Your Memories - Explore Your Past

agarbandhu

Who you are today, your personality and your values, depends on the past events that shaped you.

You can always find connections between a present thought or feeling and a past event, no matter how far away it might seem.

Explanations for present events can be found by going through some memories, and this practice shows you how to do that. By trying this you will be able to reinterpret yourself, by learning not to judge your actions but to accept and understand them.

Begin by finding a comfortable position, in a chair or armchair. Have a piece of paper or notebook and a pen ready and put them besides you.

Try to relax your body and your mind and breath rhythmically through your nose. When you have achieved a state of increased self-awareness go back in time and think of an unpleasant memory that has marked your entire life.

You don’t have to find something dramatic – in childhood, for example, even the most insignificant looking remark may have a huge impact on your personality.

Let’s say that, as a child, you broke a crystal vase that your mother held dear. She might have said: “You can’t do anything right!”. Of course, that was just an anger driven reaction on her part that disappeared after a short while but you, as a child, were deeply affected by it. When you have selected your past event try to briefly write it down and finish with a phrase that summarizes your experience (e.g. “You can’t do anything right!”).

Make sure your breathing is still rhythmical and relaxed and then think about a minimum of three things that you can learn from that past experience. Do not get stuck on the final phrase, but try to analyze your action in a non-judgmental manner.

Identify and assimilate the things that you could have improved

The main idea is to identify and assimilate the things that you could have improved. Don’t quickly dismiss your past problem by saying “it was a child’s mistake”.

The goal here is to find out how any mistake can teach you to become better, instead of lowering your self-esteem and confidence. When you have found a few positive remarks about the past experience try to write them down. Don’t force your mind to come up with the ideas; instead, try to let everything flow naturally.

After you’re done writing make sure to read the statements a couple of times and remember their essence. Put the paper aside and get back to connecting with your breathing.

Take a minute or two to focus solely on your breathing and then recall the positive ideas you jotted down on the piece of paper.

As an example, in the case of the broken vase, you could write: “I have to concentrate more on my actions”. Repeat that thought in your mind and make sure it represents you completely.

Do the same with all the other positive ideas you cam up with. Believing in them and repeating their essence enables you to make them part of who you are.

This exercise is especially useful when you are aware that you are about to go through a similar experience. You may not be in danger of breaking another vase, but you might be in the situation where something a friend holds dear will be in your hands, in your responsibility. If you feel stressed and fearful about that situation make sure you recall the positive aspects from your exercise.

Repeat them in your mind before the event and your self-confidence will receive a well-deserved boost, allowing you to do your job free from any negative roots to the past.

Bojourn............!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! agarbandhu

Building confidence

Building confidence

agarbandhu

Reading about confidence and actually having it are very different issues. You can read about it your entire life, but you won’t have it until you make a move to achieve it.

It’s not something that comes easily either. You will make mistakes along the way towards building confidence and this should be expected. Just like riding a horse or a bike, you’ll fall and scrape your knees a few times, but then you have to get back up there and go for it.

Just get on the saddle and do it
One fine day, you’re going to have to do it. Watching and reading about it won’t do any good at all if you want to have confidence in life.

The real deal is that you’re going to have to get on the saddle and start to paddle. Why, you say? Confidence is not theory. Confidence is a feeling and state of mind.

Therefore, it’s not completely possible for any one to build confidence without having to do something about it. So, go on and start doing whatever it is that you want to have confidence in.

Do the right things and confidence will come almost too-naturally to you?

Experience builds confidence
Money and gold won’t buy you confidence. They don’t come in a nice packaging off the shelves. Pharmacies don’t carry them. And physicians can’t hand you ‘confidence’ in a bottle marked ‘take three times a day’. The only person who can give you or prescribe you confidence is…. sadly, yourself.

‘get on with it and do it’

The reason why we say ‘get on with it and do it’ is because we want you to have experience. You see, the more times you do something (it doesn’t matter whether you fail more times at it than you succeed), the better you get at it (slowly but surely).

The better you get at it, the more confidence you will have. It’s impossible to see it right now but you have indeed improved. You’ve made progress, you can’t see it, but you are! And the more experience you have, the more confident you will become.

How confident you want to become depends on yourself. You’re steering the boat so, you decide when you’re confident enough. But ultimately, like they always say…. practice makes perfect!

Faking confidence
Fake it enough, you’ll soon realize that you don’t even need to fake it.

Wear the right clothes, behave in a certain way (without going overboard) and one day, you won’t even have to make an effort to appear or behave confidently.

Start talking confidently without stammering. No ‘uh’ and no ‘ah’ makes you sound confident. And the behavior and feelings become so real and so natural that you are confident by default!

While you cannot fake confidence in your game of tennis (because actions speak louder than words), you can behave confidently when you lose. When that is the case, your feelings and whatever it is in your mind becomes real.

And like they say, whatever that is in your mind will one day transform into something real.

Bojourn.............!!!!!!!!!!!!! agarbandhu

Vyaktitva Vikas Karyakram

Vyaktitva Vikas Karyakram
agarbandhu

The Vyaktitva Vikas Karyakram “Hamara Vikas Hamara Vishwas” intends to cover a wide spectrum of topics ranging from role effectiveness, public image and orientation, effective communication, self- motivation, health, stress, time and conflict management over a period of entire life span of the aspirants.

Learn To Live Life The Fun Way

Happy and sad moment alternate in our lives and the problem arises when we realize we have no or very little control over them. A 100% happy life is utopist, but there are ways to train yourself to react better to problems and difficulties.

Let’s have a look at some of the most frequently used methods of cheering yourself up, no matter how big the problems

Try to surround yourself with cute things, like children or animals. You will be instantly “contaminated” with their joy and innocence and, at least temporarily, a huge weight will be lifted from your shoulders.

Children are also great teachers, even though they don’t realize it. Take their example, for a moment, and enjoy every single thing life has to offer you, like kicking a ball, throwing stones in the water or savoring a candy bar.

In general just have fun.It never hurts to offer yourself a reward every now and then. After a long day struggling with problems your mind and body need some time off.

Do one of your favorite things: watch TV all evening without moving a muscle, take a long hot bath, play a computer game or go out and dance. Fun moments will remind you of how life should be and this will motivate you even more to do your best and solve all problems as fast as possible, so that you can go back to fully enjoying life.

Gather some courage and face whatever is worrying you. The worst idea is to lock yourself in and to start feeling sorry for yourself. Thinking about a problem for hours and hours will do you very little good. It’s time to take action and, even though it is hard, to take the first steps toward solving the difficulties. If you have a health problem, for example, and you are afraid to go to the doctor just wake up one morning and do it. Don’t think about it, don’t analyze, just go. Once you get to the doctor your mind will probably come up with a dozen good excuses to get you out of there – try to resist it. The sooner you solve your problems the less chances there are of letting them grow out of control. Immerse yourself in a creative activity, such as painting or practicing a new sport. This will keep your mind away from worrying and you will win some well-deserved relaxation. Seeing your friends is also a good method of eliminating stress and worries. You can try to combine the two and get involved, together with some friends, in a new and exciting activity. Physical activities work like a charm as they also grab the full attention of your mind. A tennis or soccer match won’t give you enough time to start having negative thoughts, as you will be focused on the action. Activities that involve your mind – such as chess, for example – are also effective, as long as they are fun and the competition factor is low. By following the general guidelines presented above you will reduce stress factors and allow your mind and body to recharge their energy and respond better to any distressful influences.

Bojourn.............!!!!!!!!!!!! agarbandhu